With 2018 coming to an end I have been reflecting on the things that happened and the things I really wish had happened. I went to a bunch of concerts, met some really cool people like the members of my favorite reggae bands Sol Seed & Iya Terra, and Stephen Marley and his whole band. I volunteered for Michael Franti’s non-profit, Do It For The Love, met his wife and co-founder Sara Franti, and was able to attend 5 of his shows to raise money to send people with illnesses to concerts.  Anyone who knows me knows that this is a big deal for me. I also transitioned out of one role at my job into another role, which was a blessing and a challenge all at once. One of the greatest accomplishments, however, was receiving my 200 hr yoga teaching certificate and beginning my teaching journey. So why am I feeling like this year just didn’t live up to my expectations? Because I had expectations of what was going to happen for me, and I failed to see that my fear was a MAJOR obstacle in my own growth.

 I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this, talking with my friends about it, and hearing their versions of 2018 as well. We all agree that time flew by like nobody’s business, On one of my concert road trips, we drove through Hells Canyon and I swear we went through a time warp because all of that positive energy that we had absorbed at the Michael Franti shows we volunteered at somehow disappeared! Later, I recognized that after being in such a high vibrational state, being home in my normal life seemed so ordinary and dull.

So what does that all mean? It means that I’m living a low vibrational life, and the only way for me to get back to that high vibe state on a regular basis, is to create those experiences in my daily life by taking what I love and making it what I do.  How the heck am I going to do that? Well, for starters, I will have to face my fear of being seen and heard.  My first order of business is to break-up with 2018. If you’re reading this and it resonates with you, then sit down and write yours out. Here’s my break-up letter for inspiration.

Dear 2018,

Back in January I thought you were “The One”.  In the beginning, you had so much to offer and I was totally excited to fall in love with you. I had high expectations for our relationship, which wasn’t fair to you. I gave you SO MUCH power and when I made some bad choices you made me painfully aware of my lack of commitment by placing obstacle after obstacle in my path. Here’s the thing 2018, it’s not you, it’s me. It’s time for me to own up to the fact that my FEAR was the reason it all fell to shit. After sitting with the disappointment of it all, I’ve discovered that I need to let go of the expectations I had of you and learn to trust what my inner wisdom is telling me.

“Here’s the thing 2018, it’s not you, it’s me. It’s time for me to own up to the fact that my FEAR was the reason it all fell to shit”

I appreciate you 2018, for reminding me that I am hella-strong and fully capable of moving past any obstacle that comes my way. It’s my intention to push past the fear of being seen and heard, and apply all of the hard lessons you, and previous years, have taught me. From now on I will be focusing on manifesting the type of life that allows me to use my natural gifts and unique nature to serve and aid in the growth of others. I am grateful for the time we spent together and I know someday I will be able to look back on this and understand the “why” of it all.

With Love and Gratitude,

Renee